Fear of a Ghost Planet

heathcliffexplained:

The Garbage Ape went to Walt Disney World, but judging by the look on their face, they did not have a great time. Perhaps, as they gazed into the gigantic, lifeless eyes of the gathered mascots doing their best to entertain in the heat with plastic heads the size of dishwashers strapped to their bodies, the Garbage Ape came to realize that they, too, were a kind of mascot, a simulacrum representing the joy other animals feel about the prospect of eating garbage. Maybe they went to Walt Disney World and came back wondering when Heathcliff and the other cats would come to see them as an individual. Then, like they mascot siblings in Orlando, they dutifully took their garbage cans up and went bounding through the park, the whole time dreaming of their autonomy.

(I feel kinda gross mentioning it, but I have a Patreon and a Ko-fi, and I’m trying to supplement the writing I do here and elsewhere (mostly elsewhere) with whatever I make. I’ve also started posting on Instagram if that makes it easier for you to follow.)

Oh hey there. If you were wondering, I’ve re-launched one of my Tumblrs, despite my having no clue how this medium actually works anymore. 

wrestledate:

GAY COMMUNITY TEE FINAL RUN

$15 — Preorder ends 11/3/17

http://fearofaghostplanet.bigcartel.com/product/pre-order-gay-community-t-shirts

Commemorating the ongoing success of the Bullet Club and its various leaders, Fear of a Ghost Planet is running a FIFTH PRESSING of THE GAY COMMUNITY?! tees. This is it though, and not like a final KISS tour where they come back and run their shitty lightshow in a casino. I lack the capacity to look at another box of shirts with any version of the Bullet Club logo on it. I will not be putting the design up on Redbubble, where the shirt would cost $26 and look like crap. I will not have extras. If you wanna be one of the cool kids at your Wrestle Kingdom viewing party, grab it now. If you’re waiting on stickers, that’s still an “eventually” thing. I promised.

PRE-ORDER ENDS NOVEMBER 3, 2017.

These shirts were “designed” by me, Colette Arrand, originally sold by myself and Robert Newsome of The Atomic Elbow, and are printed by the good people at Lehigh Valley Apparel Creations.

International shipping is horribly expensive, and I’m sorry about that.

GUEST STARRING JOHN DE LANCIE TEE

$12 — Preorder Ends 11/3/17 

http://fearofaghostplanet.bigcartel.com/product/pre-order-guest-starring-john-de-lancie-tee

The Q is for “queer.”

This is a Pre-order for a shirt I’m only gonna run off once, a fan-rip of Q lookin’ super smug on the bridge of the USS Enterprise. Largely, this is a shirt that I want to turn into a ripped up tank top. I also want there to be better bootleg Star Trek merchandise in the universe than what exists currently, and, believe me, this is way better than most of what exists currently.

Pre-order ends Friday, November 3. Don’t sleep on it!

Note: The picture above is a mock-up and might look slightly different when printed.

Also: Sorry for how high international shipping is. It’s not that I don’t want to ship to you, it’s that it is actually, legitimately ridiculously expensive to do so.

A Poem, Written On Anything You Like Within the Realm of Pop Culture

http://fearofaghostplanet.bigcartel.com/product/a-poem-written-on-anything-you-like-within-the-realm-of-pop-culture

Hello!

I’m traveling to Iceland soon to take part in the 2017 NonfictioNOW conference, but traveling to a foreign country is tough when you’re broke, trans, and struggling to pay for rent and food. The opportunity was too good for my career to just pass by, so I’m going, but I’d also like to be able to eat while I’m there.

If you’re interested in helping and getting something in return, I’m selling my time & craft as a poet at incredibly reasonable rates and will write you something on a subject of your choosing, so long as it’s within the realm of popular culture. See the link for more details!

wrestledate:

GAY COMMUNITY TEES ROUND 4 - $12

http://fearofaghostplanet.bigcartel.com/product/pre-order-gay-community-t-shirts

Hi! As soon as people started posting pictures of their shirts, more people asked for them. So round four is upon us. This time around, all profits will be going to CAIR, The Council on American-Islamic Relations. 

God willing, this is the last re-print. Jump now if you’ve been waiting. 

fearofaghostplanet:

HOLD ME GORILLA MONSOON

Hey y’all – my debut collection of poems just came out today. It is, as the title and cover suggest, about pro wrestling. There’s also a section of comics by myself and Scott Stripling. It is $11.95 from OPO Books and Objects or $14.95 at Amazon.com. Here is a poem from the collection –

For “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Auctioning Off His NWA World Heavyweight Championship

I remember your brag that a good pair of alligator shoes
cost more than a house. What do those shoes now satisfy?

Can the soul be minted tender? Can blood? These are what you have
to offer now. Both things are spoiled, but they’re yours to give.

At bars, you are paid to drink. At baseball games, the same.
You tell stories about drinking with old friends. Are they not here?

A Rolex watch, a private jet, one night with a perfect woman:
All things you say I cannot have. But I have had you, and still can.

Walk the aisle for me Nature Boy, until you’re no longer able.
I will let you rest. I will swaddle you in a sequined robe. 

HOLD ME GORILLA MONSOON

Hey y’all – my debut collection of poems just came out today. It is, as the title and cover suggest, about pro wrestling. There’s also a section of comics by myself and Scott Stripling. It is $11.95 from OPO Books and Objects or $14.95 at Amazon.com. Here is a poem from the collection –

For “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Auctioning Off His NWA World Heavyweight Championship

I remember your brag that a good pair of alligator shoes
cost more than a house. What do those shoes now satisfy?

Can the soul be minted tender? Can blood? These are what you have
to offer now. Both things are spoiled, but they’re yours to give.

At bars, you are paid to drink. At baseball games, the same.
You tell stories about drinking with old friends. Are they not here?

A Rolex watch, a private jet, one night with a perfect woman:
All things you say I cannot have. But I have had you, and still can.

Walk the aisle for me Nature Boy, until you’re no longer able.
I will let you rest. I will swaddle you in a sequined robe. 

wrestledate:

wrestledate:

GAY COMMUNITY TEES - $12

Every time I log onto Tumblr I get a message along the lines of “hey, are you ever going to be running those Gay Community shirts again?” The answer to that question is “yes, right now.”

Pre-order link: http://fearofaghostplanet.bigcartel.com/product/pre-order-gay-community-t-shirts

This is a PRE-ORDER that will run for the next three weeks, until January 25. After that, I figure we’re probably at maximum saturation level for these within the small niche of wrestling fans who care about the time AJ Styles got freaked out about gay dudes that exists within the small niche of people willing to wear a Bullet Club t-shirt in 2016. 

Domestic shipping is $4, international is $20, and while I wish there were a way to balance that out, I’m not the Postmaster General. Sorry. 

Hey! Things have been a little hectic in my neck of the woods, so the pre-order link is still up. If you’d like one, today is likely your last chance!

wrestledate:

GAY COMMUNITY TEES - $12

Every time I log onto Tumblr I get a message along the lines of “hey, are you ever going to be running those Gay Community shirts again?” The answer to that question is “yes, right now.”

Pre-order link: http://fearofaghostplanet.bigcartel.com/product/pre-order-gay-community-t-shirts

This is a PRE-ORDER that will run for the next three weeks, until January 25. After that, I figure we’re probably at maximum saturation level for these within the small niche of wrestling fans who care about the time AJ Styles got freaked out about gay dudes that exists within the small niche of people willing to wear a Bullet Club t-shirt in 2016. 

Domestic shipping is $4, international is $20, and while I wish there were a way to balance that out, I’m not the Postmaster General. Sorry. 

dealwithmebreathing:

LA PARKA: 100% RUDO